So a few years ago I joined an online forum. At the time I was looking for people I could relate to... people who were going through the same thing as me. I'm talking about re-current miscarriages (with no cause found), Monster was our 5th, but first born. Anyway it was great having people you could relate with and who had not only been through it but also come out the other side WITH a baby :) It was also great to be anonymous and not have people look at you all sympathetic like and feeling sorry for you. I hate people feeling sorry for me, it irritates me! I'm not sick, or dying I just lost something before I'd really received it. The other thing I hated hearing was "it obviously wasn't meant to be" grrhh.. That sentence still grates my chalk board! If 'it wasn't meant to be' then why the hell did I get pregnant in the first place? No one has ever given me a decent explanation for it... well not one I can not argue with anyway.
The good part about going through all that was:
1.
I developed thick skin. Some people really don't think before they speak! (the one that still sticks in my mind is "we're glad you lost your baby", she didn't mean it in a vengeful (is that a word?) way. According to Elvis, she probably didn't mean it like that... in other words she meant it for her own selfish reasons).
- A miscarriage isn't something I'd wish on my worst enemy, it's physically painful, not to mention emotionally draining.
The thick skin also helps with all the other dumb comments you get whilst pregnant and when you have a baby...
2.
It has made me truly grateful for what I HAVE. After every miscarriage I was still thankful that I could at least GET pregnant on my own. No IVF etc. And now that I have Monster I'm grateful for him! There are so many beautiful people out there that can not have babies and it breaks my heart to hear there stories.
3.
Elvis and I grew stronger as a couple. We really are a team. And when you live away from your family it really helps to have someone who can always pick you back up when you're at your worst.
As horrible as it is to loose a baby or babies I'm at least glad I don't have some disease or other deadly medical condition. I don't have to fight just to breathe on a daily basis, nor do I live on a concoction of drugs/medicines. If this is the worst that can happen in my life then I really have nothing to complain about :)
OK, so this post didn't end up being about what I had intended. In fact I was going to tell you about AF, so on this forum I visit they call their 'period' AF. I've never known what AF stands for but I guessed they were talking about their periods... "arghh.. AF arrived today, guess I'm not pregnant :(" Funny thing is I've been visiting this forum for years.
So anyway, today I googled it... it stands for Aunt Flo, I really don't like calling it Aunt Flo! Why? because that's my mums name, well her middle name, and my dad calls her Flo, it's also the only nickname I've known her to have... You can see where I'm going with this.
Call it what it is people!
